a lost sheep
Jesus teaches about Asking, Seeking, Knocking.
"Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. for everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened."
"which one of you, if your son ask for bread, will give him a stone? or if he asks for fish, will give him a snake? if you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him! so in everything, do to others what would have them do to you, for this sums up the Laws and the Prophets".
--- Matthew 7:7 - 12. (NIV)
thank the Father for all creation, the gift of life.
thank the Father for making us complete with abled hands, limbs and intellect.
let these gifts not go to waste, while we fight adversity in daily life.
every living moment is one we live in God's time. none of us know when we will be called home.
thus live your days with meaningfully, glorify our Lord's name!
put your talents to good use for betterment of humanity.
then you can account to the returning Lord on Judgement's Day.
may the Lord open up your heart to greater riches of life.
open up your hands and receive, sing praises of the Lord Jesus.
a lost sheep of the flock you are. pray fervently and read the Bible.
pray as you would, but be pro-active in seeking. take the initiative to reach out to the Lord.
do not think of those trips in church seeking as a waste of time, for you won't gain if you don't try.
as for Catholicism, it comes both in the form of scriptures and traditions.
join us in the RCIA journey this October, i encourage you to.
it'll give you a deeper understanding of what Catholicsm is about.
it's only when you learn more then you can evaluate better.
i pray that the Holy Spirit fills your spirits and guide you to make wise decisions,
giving you both the physical and spiritual strength to overcome the trials of life.
the sign of peace i give to you. Amen!
sand day
tonite was fun!!!
met with michele and jon and brought my dog along (as usual).
so good to see Mich! hahah... everytime she sees Jon, she smiles from ear to ear sweetly!
then they hold hand walk walk and kiss kiss. so sweet!
joshua was saying why people so lovey dovey, michele carry bag and feed jon food.
i make joshua carry bag and he eats chips from my bag. i only feed my dog, not my boyfriend!
they hold hands and kiss kiss, josh and i walk seperately.
aiyah! whatever lah! blah blah blah!
first we went to botanic gardens coz there was performance scheduled.
but coz of the rain earlier on the day, the performace was cancelled.
albeit without putting up a notice!
so we took damn long to get there coz we got lost though Jon was driving.
to only be disappointed...
so Jon suggested that we go East Coast Park seafood center for dinner.
which was a good idea!
my god... the soup beef noodles and satay bee hoon queue was soooo looong.....
i think michele and jon queued for a good half hour. but it was worth every moment of the wait.
freddy! when u come back we go there makan and chill out k?
then we also ordered satay which was in beef slices instead of the minced beef type. wow!
there were also BBQ sting ray and fried mussels.
the mussels were solid and juicy, the sauce was great with rice!
and the company was good! so there, it was indeed an enjoyable evening.
to my dear friends:
i'm alright. not sad, depressed or highly disillusioned. and i still have no good impression of relationships, men and marriage.
most things in life, they don't happen the way we want them to. so just pray that we make the best decisions to help us along at each station. thank and praise the Lord for every smallest blessings we receive.
maybe i expect too much out of josh.
i expect joshua to wake up abt 10am like everyone elses does, attend church and finish service by noon so we have the entire day to do other activities like go mac ritchie for a run or swim, coz i seriously see no meaning in rolling in bed til noon!!! i expect him to be driven and challenge himself to greater heights. i expect him to not tell dumb jokes.
i probably expect alot out of him.
like Freddy said, in the past, i felt that the greatest joy was to come home from school and snuggle with josh. now, i really don't feel so. i said that, that's coz things change. he said, that's coz people forget. well... as i bathed and pondered over what he said, i got a deeper understanding.
maybe i don't give in to the relationship as much as i should. maybe i am not as loving as i used to be. maybe i don't compromise as often as i should. maybe i am too demanding. maybe i am not as understanding. maybe i don't listen as much too. i simply shut off and do other stuff.
probably i didn't put in enough of love and commitment.
every ounce of effort put in is every grain sown.
expecting him to be who i expect him to be is totally unrealistic. there's no point that i should get pissed coz he wakes up late or he tells dumb jokes coz that's him. neither shld i be angry at him coz i woke up with a bad headache. thus i can only say i made the wrong judgement and ultimately a wrong choice in a boyfriend.
however, i can also choose to overlook those flaws and be happy with what i have. but of coz i think i have the best solution. that is to just not be bothered at all. not think about it. not care about it. not complain about it. call them problems. call them defects. whatever. fundamentally irreconcilible difference they are. he shall be him. i am still me.
we live seperate lives =) so i shall go on making my plans, i refuse to waste my time and being not productive. he can roll in bed and watch tv. yes, i shall not grumble about him getting pudgy.
what do you think?
whatever in my eyes
i'll cry you a river,
when love turned into hatred and contempt.
let me be the hurricane that ruins your life,
sending emotional turmoils that spins out of control.
i wish i was the ravaging jetstream that rips through your heart.
may you live in that spinning vortex for eternity.
once it was love and attraction.
then it was irritance and frustration.
resigned to fate i now am.
monotonous co-existence without a deeper meaning.
from your hugs i shun. your kisses i do not cherish.
skin on skin, so close yet so far the minds and souls are apart.
call me a black widow,
for that fatal bite. curse me, i am small.
so small yet fatally toxic. le femme fatale.
the smirk in my face, i pity you.
i hate you. i hate myself. i hate the world.
i hate you. you and you.
trust no one except yourself.
life is bitter. yet live life.
deceive yourself and worship me.
worship money, worship God.
kill yourself. kill me.
suicide is a mortal sin, condemed to infernal hell after Judgement Day will be.
getting smashed by a car is just an 'accident'. golden gates Heaven you will see.
money talks. love is just an empty word.
without money, there is no talk.
love is just a reciprocal gift exchanged for the goodness of money.
it's ultimately a material world.
i am a material girl. you are material too. fuck you.
upset i am with the world, with all its injustice and inequalities.
i question the existence of that kind gracious omnipotent God.
deep furious hatred in a nuke bomb is my gift to this worthless world.
one man's terrorist is another's freedom fighter.
politics rule global aid supply. all part of a larger game.
exploit the young and nubile, exploit the cheap resources in the Third World.
guzzle fuel our Mercedes Benz. Las Vegas's running on 3 times the energy USA needs.
as the urban lounge music plays in the background,
as we toast to our chilled poisons.
may we burn in acidic infernal flames after death.
ash to ash, dust to dust.
devils we all are, the child of Satan.
in the temple of sins we find rest and play.
love me not. hate me not. Fuck you i say.
let me be the passing mirage in your life.
forget me, as i will too.
nothing in this life is worth remembering,
that's why i have forgotten what brings me enjoyment.
i no longer know myself. i no longer know what makes me happy.
marriage is just an institutional policy.
call it a cheat. i believe in divorces and alimony.
singlehood is synonymous with freedom.
responsible to no one, obligate to none.
no spouse, no in-laws and no kids.
i just love me live alone, and be me.
i have the entire bed to myself.
hassle free is singlehood.
let me live and i will live good.
put you to shame i will.
loser i am not one. loser you are.
harp on your friends' achievement for none of them are yours.
guilty you should be for not being as driven as they are.
envy why not.
envy them for that young successes.
despise you is what i will do.
for you only know how to pin accolades on others than work for one yourself.
L-O-S-E-R.
so you think your jokes are funny and your popularity is high.
rethink reality i say to you.
do you think people really cherish you for who you are,
or you're a pathetic sucker being sucked into a game?
i find no answers yet. i was one too some time not too long ago.
a helpless pawn being moved around in a game i didn;t realize was played.
men are nothing but bastards. all of them they are. except to varying degrees.
men love pretty babes, female flesh and a good wet shag.
women are alwiz in for the money. survival i heard it was termed.
sex, drugs and lies. it makes all of us happy.
all of us are playing a game.
truthful we are, only to ourselves while hidden behind the shadows of the moonlight.
our hidden agenda, so few knows.
the bright cheerful face eluded is after all a painted on facade.
every relationship is a well calculated transaction of how much to give and receive.
naive and innocence are the two leading qualities to elimination from the human race.
a dog is better than a man.
dogs are faithful and loving.
men are cheap.
i think you think
took up another research project, so i am working 6 days a week now.
research is not as enjoyable and fulfiling as i imagined it to be.
i still prefer working in the food and beverage service industry.
nothing beats seeing my customer smile with sincere satisfaction.
right now i am mentally, physically and emotionally drained.
all jobs are mentally and physically tiring that i have to admit.
but my private life is draining me emotionally more than it is supposed to.
i tried picking myself up earlier, and not behave negatively.
i tried to be all loving and warm again.
but it didn't work as well as i thought it would.
i just want to give up althogether. coz i am no longer happy.
we want different things.
he chooses to stay home and watch tv in bed after work and on weekends.
i choose to go out and unwind over poison after work and play sports during the weekend.
i enjoy doing interesting stuff, going outdoors for a run or swim.
he enjoys staying home or going to East Coast Mac Cafe to chill.
we just want different things.
he wants a vacation to Koh Samui and bum at the beach resort.
yes, Le Meridien comfy lodge.
i want to travel far on a shoe string budget.
bagpack to shanghai or new york city.
i am tired of obligating on both sides.
i have my life which i want to live with fulfilment.
you should too. let's reconsider our priorities.
that's Don behind the mug. tonite have no pictures of me, coz i am the one taking photos. bah. we started of with intelelctual debate, then bitched about work, then about lecturers... hmm.. though i only had 0.6l of lager.. i got quite sleepy. ended blabbering about small LV bags and black nails with glitters. Don kept insisting that i should get a belly button pierce coz it's hot. i think it's painful. period.
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beer at Pauler Brauhners. on Don's tab. hahah.. i had Munich Dark, he had German lager. toasts to the history majors debate!
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cuties
we were cute! we are still cute! love ya babe!
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my bessie
had lunch with my childhood fren (Felicia) at Tamp Mall. she is 174cm tall, very slim, fair happy-going and easily contented. hee. we studied for 5 years in the same class in the same primary school, 4 years in the same secondary school, and lived in the same area. we have the same spelling for our surnames,we sat together in class, we were teacher's pets and prefects, and our Dads were ex colleagues in the same air base. our Dads were both from the air force, so we grew up at air bases and were used to 'men's talk'. then one of the Dads had to fetch us to school and one had to fetch us home. hahah. we're like sisters =)
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TJCians Unite
"we're here with a purpose; we're here with a will. temasek aspirations, to fulfil..." from left: Cecilia (Sissy), Jotham the lame, Josh, Kitty, Qiao (Rabbit), Gabriel (my friend thinks he is hunky) and Gab's fren. cheers to the Lame Gang! you've made the grey mundane days of TJC and A-levels a whole lot better! thanks alot for everything dearies!
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deep blue sea
the end product =)
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slam dunk
we waited 4 years for this moment! to dunk our dearest Gamma House Vice-Cap into the deep blue sea! whoosh to Lame Gang! yes, do look at the background of the photo. my god... the entire stretch of sentosa's beach was disgustingly crowded! a whole lot of teenagers... sec sch kids with tattoos, girls who think they are pretty, noisy China expats and families with cute fluffy big doggies!
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circle in the sand
what u wished for is what you get =P
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sunset victory
went to Sunset Bay with my TJC friends. Gabriel wanted us to bury him in the sand! i don't know for what though.. from left: Qiao Ling, Gab's rolly polly friend, Gab's thin friend, Gab in sand and Jotham the victor.
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Darth Vader
sneaked Stars Wars saga finale preview yesterday.
was pretty good but not annihilatingly exciting.
interesting to know how Darth Vader aka Anakin Skywalker fell to the dark side
and embraced Emperor Palaptine, and how he became scourged into Darth Vader.
however, deeper from the surface lies a contemporary political tease.
utterances such as "if you're not with me, then you're my enemy"; "i am the senate";
"this is how democracy fails into applause" (or something like that).
remarkably similar to utterances made by President Bush isn't it? =)
With its many references to arrogance and lust for power leading to the dark side,
is "Revenge of the Sith" intended as an allegory for our times?
"Only a Sith deals in absolutes," says one of the wiser characters,
who is clearly not in favor of endorsing a good-vs.-evil agenda.
watch it and you'll understand. it's more than spectacular settings.
went Zouk for Mambo nite as well with my thai language classmates.
my gosh... it's a total ah-beng nite!
Subaru Impreza's fill the carpark, the crowd was chinese spewing,
ah lians cajole with their bengs. the music was largely techno too.
all in all, it reminded me of Canto Disco tea parties.
many weird guys which i shall not elaborate on.
1 dances to samba music like a shuttling badminton player.
3 are gays touching each other.
1 gets high rubbing his back against mine.
1 insist that all of us make-out in front of the Phuture bouncers to gain entrance into Phuture.
did you realize that the Zouk's carpark bouncers carry a flickering red light torch?
looks like light saber right? heehee. they're the star troopers!!! whee!!!
and they dress in black too!
research work hasn't been going well. getting quite tired mentally.
but i am willing to try my best. tmrw will be another day watching microfilms. sigh.
may God give me the physical and spiritual energy to endure through this period of testing times. may God shed light and enlighten me, send me warmth in the cold.
i'm reading a book now, titled In His Good Time by Bobby Sng.
tells about the history and development of the Prostestant churches in Singapore.
serves as a strong reminder to our christian obligations of evangelism, community work and selfless dedication to help others.
the more i read about inspiring people and their achievements, the more i read the Bible,
the more i sing worship songs at Mass, the closer i feel to God and the more i need his grace.
"you are my God and my Lord".
may we be better christians and obey your calls to do our mission. Amen.
dessert rose
emotional drainage follows the thunderstorm of love,
plain fatigue overcomes the heart.
precious water vapours in the arid dessert,
is like freedom to the survivial of the soul.
the traveller pushes herself on,
miles and miles she trudges in the shifting sands.
every ideal shifts with the changing winds,
moulding each time a new sand dune.
perfect oasis in her mind,
challenged by the burning sand on her bare feet.
sand storms arrive majectically,
with every grit entering her blue eyes.
the sharp pain does not help her see clearer.
the coarse sand whips her tender face,
the pain so numbed the hardened heart.
she is after all a traveller on a camel's back.
as the mid day sun blows down on them,
casting short shadows across the pediment floor.
she gazed up into the skies,
she sees the sun and a small halo within the larger circle of light.
with the fatigue accumulated over the months,
she suddenly saw Lady of Fatima appearing, calling her name.
knowing that it's a lost expedition,
she loosened her grip on the reigns.
falling back, she fell onto the soft sands.
with dry lips she whispered "i have found what i came for".
when it rains, it pours.
i'm frustrated and depressed.
went to the archives today. there's 174 rolls of microfilm on Straits Settlemment.
without indexes! i really doubt i'll be able to collect anything on religions statistics too.
colonial government weren't interested in such data thus they won't exist!
doesn't help that Uncle Tong isn't around.
can't wait for tmrw, then i can declare that i tried but could not find pre-1900 statistics.
at max there were some personal accounts and bibliographies but these are all qualitative data.
there's some books on coming of the churches as well. but ain't helpful to my work.
Prof wants NUMBERS. books were meant to be my last resort. oh well.
suddenly, i wish that time will just fly by and 6 weeks are over.
suddenly i don't wish to extend my term.
working without an adviser isn't really helpful. and he didn't give me a clear directory either.
wtf!
but i guess even if i was deported to China, i will be as depressed and frustrated too.
there is a different set of problems arising from interpersonal relationships but still problematic.
here i know that once at least i pass the 1921 phrase, i can be more relieved.
bottomline is: $8+ an hr is actually quite difficult to earn. yet spending money is easy.
today was a bad day.
first i was late for school. i don't know why but i took so long to leave my house.
then, i waited for a damn bus for 20mins, only to take 2 bus stops and realize it's the wrong bus!
when i wanted to take a bus back into NUS, it started to pour heavily and i was drenched.
as i was about to go for lunch, i ran into Vance (2nd place to Eileen the whale).
holy cow, can't my day get any worst???!!!
ended up having lunch with him. GOSH.
he kept going on about himself and his girlfriend. yes, the one with a kid.
he is taking a test for insurance agents and will work with his girlfriend.
he kept asking me about Benny and claims that he's one of their group.
and he said that money to him is most important.
whatever. i am so disinterested in his life or events.
don't even wanna be running into him, but unluckily, i do. y-u-c-k-s.
seriously, i wonder why these people... Benny and Vance etc...
they can live without God's love? without a religion? without Jesus?
pity. missing out on all the eternal rewards awaiting in heaven. Praise the Lord Jesus!
Lion moniker!
to all animals: please watch this movie together okay? cheesecake, prawn, choon, monkey, doggie, lion etc etc. that'll be so fun!!! i am so looking forward to a good laugh! hopefully i'll get to visit Madagascar island during this lifetime too =)
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four skin
for the sake of Ryan's curiousity about Clarence. this is how he looks like now.
that's the famous 4 or notorious 4? whichever you call it.
from left: Reynald, Edwin, Clarence and someone. Posted by Hello
his ex
this is Alison! Ryan, is she pretty, sexy or attractive? tell me what you think k?
she is Clarence's ex-girlfriend. i think she is so damn hot!
and i wonder HOW Clarence got such babes anyway...mystery...
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Parousia [exchange]
local Christian rock band. took 3 years to produce. lead vocalist is our dearest Lloyd, one of the TAs from sociology. darn talented guy who'd sings real well, cut albums, snow skiis and is on his way to Uni of Columbia for PhD. aspire!
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THE band
THE Parousia band. guess who's Lloyd =)
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HSBC tree top walk
HSBC tree top walk at Mac Ritchie! we did it before 5pm after starting at 4.10pm! yay! thanks lots guy, it's been a wonderful hike! it's been so long since i did a 5km walk to a destination =)
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greenery
go guess how high we were! but nway, wasn't too much of fun.. the over-rated tree top walk was only less than 100m long. go only if you really bored. otherwise Mac Ritchie's 8km x-country trail would more fun. dear Elias asked if there was anywhere to picnic or sit down. "i am walking above the ground, nothing can nothing can hold me down..."
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going down
that's Ryan way in front of a cat and a dog. yes. look at those steps going down. we were halfway down. did i mention about walking up? =P
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golf
we ended up at Spore Island Country Club!!! figure how far we walked!!! but it was great fun all the same! a perfect saturday evening workout. the vast 19 holes lush greenery were a breath-taking change from the mundane concrete jungle sight. i fell in love with... the wide open space!
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SICC
that's SICC at the back. while we walked for god-knows-how-far, we counted 7 NEW Lexus RX 300, 4 Benz S300 class, 5 BMWs 5-7 series. aspire! SICC has a dman nice new club house too! with a swanky swimming pool and driving range.
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end of the road. yet?
yes. we walked in the opposite direction away from Thomson Rd, going deeper and deeper into the golf course. thank God for sending us this nice, kind and helpful Uncle and his son, who stopped his Lexus RX300 to give us a ride out of the club.
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hitchhikers to ... thomson galaxy!
though we were tired, we were really happy (i sure was!) though all of us are now working weekdays and Ryan is going to Knox, we should really do this again! the Kent Ridge trail or something... it's more fulfilling than... watching tv at home! that i swear! i ahve came to a point where sleeping, rotting in bed and watching tv is pure waste of time and youth!
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tulips
a happy ending! went down to thomson flower wholesalers to just take a look. pwweeetttyy tulips!
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everything but the guy.
the more i think of him, the closer he gets to perfection.
but i am aware that no one except the Holy Trinity is perfect. i only not know of his flaws yet.
everything about him draws attracts me, particularly his intellectual mind.
it reminds me of the movie, A Beautiful Mind. (no, he is not schizophrenic).
the latest was on Palestinians and Isrealis Talk to Each Other: Dialogue on Conflicts and Peace.
it's the enigma that he radiates.
his charismatic personality. his passion for the academic work he indulges in.
the way he sits back and think, the way he helps guide me along.
the devout faith he follows in Christ. the system and discipline he applied in prep for exams.
he relinquished my thirst for intellectual and spiritual fulfilment. all these are above material desires.
however, God only gave me a glimpse of perfection and took him away.
i wish that someday, i'll be there too.
respect, admiration, perfection.
The Dark Side
i know this one is so damn dark. but that's the whole point of it all isn't it? i'm not wearing make-up today... =) hey Ryan, so sorry didn't attend Elias church BBQ as agreed beforehand. hope you boys had fun. i haven't met my dearest babes for so long. kiss kiss! oh, i didn't know that salt water doesn't freeze. therefore the ice sheets at the artics are actually frozen fresh water.
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strudel aftermath
Hay Bee can't eat without dropping all her strudel flakes all over her place. oh! there was a fruit fly in between the layers of flaky pastry too! but she ate it all anyway =P i love these girls! you've been my best companions through both my darkest and brightest days. too bad Marcus, Choon and Pris ain't free tonite...
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prawn cat
that's my Hay Bee, which means Dried Shrimp in dialect. fellow sociology major. thanks Michele for taking these pictures! Posted by Hello
sweeties
squint and point! yes, we fellow Mensa Clique vowed to point at anything strange / cute / fancy.. dreary grey AJCians included.. from top left: apple strudel, chocolate amer cake, and sour cherry pie @ Bakerzin Atrium, Plaza Spore.
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eeyur!
very fluffy gaudy cheap looking ELLE heels. reminds me of those Lunar 7th Month stage singers... or kinky feather foot fetishism... Takashimaya Square sales. i really wonder who will even wear them...
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book, zoo and movie
i have this illogical problems with blockbuster movies. i am kiasu.
i insisted that Josh gets the STAR WARS - Revenge of The Sith tickets for 18th May.
coz 19th May is the official opening day. i don't care how is he gonna get them =P
me being me, wanna watch movies either before they open or on the very day they open.
(this only applies to blockbuster mega movies).
it's only fun when you watch it while it's hot. so there =)
Madagascar is an animated movie, produced by producers of Shrek and Shark's Tale.
Ben Stiller, Chris Rock, David Schwimmer and Jada Pinkett Smith star as the voices of four zoo animals who hang up when they hear the call of the wild.
Alex the Lion is the king of the urban jungle, the main attraction at New York’s Central Park Zoo (thinks Ryan). He and his best friends Marty the Zebra, Melman the Giraffe and Gloria the Hippo have lived their entire lives in blissful captivity, with regular meals provided and an admiring public to adore them.
Not content to leave well enough alone, Marty allows his curiosity to get the better of him and, with the help of some prodigious penguins, makes his escape to explore the world he’s been missing. Alex, Melman and Gloria go after him, but before they can go wild in the streets, they are captured, crated and put on a ship to Africa…to be ultimately set free. When those plotting penguins sabotage the ship, Alex, Marty, Melman and Gloria find themselves washed ashore on the exotic island of Madagascar. Now, these native New Yorkers have to figure out how to survive in the wild and discover the true meaning of the phrase “It’s a jungle out there.”
as Michele suggested, we should watch this movie with fellow animal friends.
namely, doggie, lion, small prawn, big prawn, rabbit and monkey! yay!
alternatively we can plan an outing to the zoo!
there's one thing i hate about new books.
sometimes, they are so new that the damned national library doesn't even carry it.
thus that leaves me with the option of bunking at Borders or buying it.
i'm currently looking for Steven Levitt's Freakonomics. 6 socially interesting chapters.
without the regression statisical analysis or academic caveats.
Tong Dong
finally got my internship settled today. phew.
thank you to those who prayed for me. may God bless you richly.
thank you Mother Mary for your prayers. thank Lord for your grace.
1st half of the week, i'll work for Prof Tong.
statistics are definitely not my forte or my interests but i will try my best =)
thank God that Vincent's on the same project, though he is doing another aspect.
i know i have a guiding light during emergency!
Prof Tong leaving for China for 6 weeks this Sunday, leaving me to take the initiative =/
Dr Lai will take me for the 2nd half of the week.
Thank God for that opportunity to remain at IPS.
more qualitative work. yay! and she is a very responsible though demanding mentor.
thank God for Don to vet my ideas.
i'll only start work next week.
for now, Prof Tong has piled me with quite a few books he wrote in the past,
and 20 years worth of statistics from the national consensus. ouch.
why am i impressed with Vincent?
he is a professional statistics cruncher. and we all do know that stats is not fun.
(i think Ryan will disagree though).
he is humble, patient, soft-spoken and yet driven with self-motivation.
he is a great tutor of methodology. he is a devout Christian.
pitfall: i don't know if he is attached or not.
anyway, he is going to Uni. of Toronto to do social networks for his PhD. hugs.
i wish him all the best for his endeavours.
yes, i am attracted to intellectual successful guys.
success is open to different definitions. i have mine and trust me, they are not so material based.
but i must reiterate, Joshua is a wonderfully sweet, loving and nice guy. totally lovable and giving.
about the relationship, we will see how it goes. no promises. i can't make any.
met Ryan after school. yes, i was carrying quite a few books.
thank God Ryan brought me a paper bag. hahah.
had a good chat. really, it's the company that makes up for everything.
it's good to know what my peers are planning so i can better gauge myself.
strategic intuition, right? =) thanks Ryan!
met Dad after Ryan left. gosh... Dad is a better shopper than i am.
he can walk for miles, pop into every shop and still not tired.
my legs are aching. my brains ain't working now. miu.
Lion Woods ("professional" golfer...) and Seafood Wong (Josh works at a seafood company).
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seafood spaghetti at Bakerzin. nice lah but too much of it (weekly) makes it quite dull to eat. this one was the Paragon outlet.
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Mai Tai
it's boring being a tai tai.
yes, you heard me right.
B-O-R-I-N-G.
how much shopping, dim sum dining, manicures and facials and high teas can one consume?
not much and not for long anyway. the fun tends to run dry.
i had 4 days of that lifestyle and i'm bored already. expensive too.
i need brain exercise! brain fuel!
the bottomline is: i miss school. i miss arguing critically.
lectures, tutorials and homework have given a meaningful structure to my day.
maybe i shall jus paint or cross stitch or something... make myself useful =)
anyone wanna go out movie or library let me know k?
Joshua is working. Michele is cleaning her house. Ryan starting work soon.
Hay Bee teaching tuition. everyone has something to do!
anyway, i am meeting Prof Tong tmrw at his office smack in mid day.
let's hope everything goes well.
yes eunice! me not rich enough to fly anytime over to Perth!
coz Josh not giving me enough allowance. muahahah! but i'll soon be financiallu indepent once i secure a job. i'll love to go esp see those wineries near Ben's new farm.
but i've been tied down by these 2 ridiculous professors who never give me specific time slots.
miu miu.
IPS (Part 2)
i still don't know if i got my internship or not. kitty's confused.
this is the reply i got from Dr. Lai. please help me decipher.
"Dear Paveena
We discussed the possibility of your being a paid research assistant to Prof Tong Chee Kiong (sociology dept, NUS) for his project on “Religious Trends and Issues in Singapore”.
I have yet to hear from him, although he mentioned meeting you this Mon 9 or Wed 11.
(huh??? haven't heard from him and yet meeting me on Wed tentatively? ermm.. *rolls eyes*)
His tel. is .... and email is ... (anonymousity)
Please contact him directly.
If you are unable to do so by Wed, pls contact me after Wed.
We will discuss the other project in any case.
Thanks,
Lai Ah Eng"
thus i still received no confirmation from them!
it's like... everything is so tentative?!
my only hope now is to reach Prof Tong and see what he says. pray damn hard!
otherwise, will have to wait for Wai to put me on Paulin Straughan's research team in June. hopefully that is.
enough about school. i'm drained.
for now, it's time to enjoy myself and do things that i usually have no time to do =)
make the best out of my vacation!!! there's alwiz something to look forward to!
Jared's going on 4D3N field camp. silly boy asked me to pray for him.
he is so afraid that thngs will go wrong esp. he hasn't been atteneding Mass for some time.
of course i will! you're alwiz close to my heart. love you lots baby!
today's been a great day!
watched Kingdoms of Heaven with Ian.
he's now teaching at Anglican High. PE and Maths. trying hard to be transferred to JC.
but the movie sucked badly. long, dragging and boring.
then met Michele, Ryan, Joshua and Liang Cai. talked alot of crap! it's hilarious.
i was laughing so hard over this stupid joke.
before the movie, i saw a trailer. an animated movie called 'Madagascar'.
it has this bunch of NYC zoo animals shipped to this tropical island.
there's a lion with a fluffy mane, a chatty zebra and a hippo.
now, the lion kept on running towards the sea screaming that he wants to swim back to NYC.
me being me. linked Ryan to Lion. Ryan misses NYC. the lion misses NYC.
i suddenly imagined Ryan with a fluffy mane, running around hysterically that he wants to return to NYC. and started laughing damn hard.
i have a vivid imagination. praise the Lord~
Japanese Paragon
it's embarrassing to go out with these 2 clowns. Joshua's a riot. Ryan is fine though. this was at Sushi Tei Paragon. we really do enjoy japanese food. envious anyone?
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dog on it
what did i say? i told you that Joshua was short right? he is ONLY 173cm. muahahahah!
that's why he needs to wear army boots all the time... =P
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mirror us
mirror images? heh heh. did i mention that Grandma's complaining that i'm seeing Josh everyday? no, my family doesn't allow me to have boyfriends. and no, my family doesn't like him either. poor doggie.
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bear loves honey
Liang Cai and his harem of sweet seductive sex goddesses.
your wish is our command! okay. i've been watching too much Arabian Nights.
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4 animals and 1 dessert
from left: michele, ryan, joshua, veen and liang cai.
notice that Ryan is alwiz in basketball jerseys and Josh is alwiz in his black army polo-T.
Michele loves her lime skirt. i love my lime top. right at the left is Liang Cai Bear Bear.
he loves earthy tones. we're a lovable fun bunch!
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sheer coincedence
from left: Cheesecake, Lion, Doggie, Kitty at Mac Cafe Lido.
note: color of Miche's skirt and my top. it's time for lime!
actually i didn't plan to meet Michele today but bumped into her on the mrt.
since she was way early to meet LC at 6, we chilled together over iced coffee.
so nice to hug my cheesecake again! miu!
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IPS
IPS = I Pray Such (fill in prayers).
tmrw's Monday.
i haven't heard from Dr Lai. yet.
nor Prof Tong.
i'm so anxious. i am afraid.
Vincent also haven't leaked any news to me. sigh.
i feel so abandoned. forsaken is the word.
i am praying hard that they'll get back to me soon.
Lord Jesus, hear my prayers. may i be blessed to recieve that internship.
Mother Mary, please pray on my behalf. i'll like to try my hands on research work.
i want to contribute, work hard, think deep and gain rich experiences.
please pray for me that an opportunity be given to exercise my intellectual gifts.
in the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit. Amen.
this internship to me is very important.
i want to spend my vacation wisely. i want to gain rich invaluable experience.
the monetary pay here is not an issue. i want to work with responsible advisers / mentors.
if money was that important, i would have persisted in my data-mining application at HSBC.
last thing i want for this hols is.... to be deported to China and work for my Dad. urgh.
no, i am not going away for any vacation too. no job = no pay = no vacation. simple mathematics.
then i canbid farewell to my own bed, my cosy abode, movie watching, eating good food, beach volley at sunset bay etc etc. then again, it doesn't really matter that much.
i don't go to the beach, i don't watch movie coz each weekday ticket cost $8.50, i don't alot of things... Josh is also a stay-home person. yawn. boring couple we are. i wonder what happened to my active sports life. or my artistic hobbies. i hate myself. i despise myself.
Cubbing is no longer as fun as it used to be. or maybe i am old and mellowed?
i get bored and tired easily. the music can be damn happening. the crowd can be gorgeous.
but i am still bored.
i think it's the company that makes or breaks the clubbing experience.
been out too often with lousy company. been disappointed too much.
i miss Liz and Freddy. i miss Jared and Co.
those guys are FUN. and RESPONSIBLE. oh well. Dec better come soon. *wink*
tira-miss-you
one thing i love about holidays: i have all the time to indulge in my hobby of cooking n baking. jus made tiramisu when my plan of going to church was spoilt by the rain. anyone wanna visit me tmrw? promise u a share of dessert. i need comments! i alwiz have this idea, if i don't get a job, i'll open a small cosy cafe. hopefully by the beach. sell seafood spaghetti, linguine vongole, grilled chicken with wine wine sauce, tiramisu, coffee and chilled white wine. jus like Bondi Beach Sydney.
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Liz Prince
this is Miss Liz and Freddy Prince. they're my nice club mates. Freddy also single too! maybe we should help him find girlfriend too! Eun, this guy stays in Perth and studies at UWA. any nice sweet girls to intro?
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Thai cooks
Thai Class's BBQ at Pebble Bay this evening. from left: Magdalene, Jia Xuan, Aacaan Ravee, Kok Hong (scalded by the hot BBQ pit) and class clown Frankie. the food was so good! aacaan Jieb cooked thai green curry with fresh vegetables and glass noodles, Phad Thai with seafood, tender chicken fillet BBQ, beef kebabs with pineapples, tomatoes, capsicums and onions. oh so good! top it off with iced thai desset of diced water chestnuts in coconut milk. truly authentic!
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thai games
shifting stuff for ganmes at mulit-purpose room. Kok Hong was my partner for earlier part of the course. Frankie is alwiz irritating aacaan Ravee with his teasing. we all missed him when he was absent. thai games.. played win-lose-or-draw in thai scripts. brain teaser. too bad i left early.
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sawatdii kha
this is my beloved thai class. from left (top row): me, mag, dongs, frankie, benny, charlene and kok hong. bottom from left: daniel, jiaxuan and aacaan ravee. hey guys, it's a wonderful semester studying thai with this fun class. the fun we had in class, joking about everything, thurs tea breaks together... thank God for the all of you. God bless you in your studies =)
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Rafflesians at TH
from left: Joshua, Elias and Ryan. Elias and Ryan are gorgeously tall! about 180cm each. *drool* Ryan's well built too! Elias is.. skinny. as i've mentioned, Joshua is a short, round, pudgy little doggie. fat and small.
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TOPMAN
as promised, Ryan and his hunky bod! new haircut too! yes, i managed to snatch his topless picture. such a genius =) he's cute right? look at those well defined muscles...
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Miss Liz
this is Liz. she's studying at Uni of Sydney. we're thinking of hooking her up with Ryan. coz Liz likes tall hunky military men. she also has a fascination of sweaty men, gyms, work-out benches and mirrors. go figure =p
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Pac Friday
went to IPS for interview today with Dr. Lai. waited from 9.15am till... 9.45am.
didn't do too well i think. another Pol Sci girl got the IPS stint. that's definite.
i was only shortlisted. now awaiting them to comfirm my internship by next Wed.
= sigh = tentatively is to be posted to Sociology Dept to be research assistant.
project's on Christian religion's structure, with Prof Tong as my mentor..
hopefully can squeeze in another project with IPS still. i really want to work under Dr Lai too.
her project is on community / social services offered by Christian churches. interesting.
praying hard that everything goes well. Lord Jesus, please bless me and help me do my best.
i am keen to learn. Lord, please humble me. Amen.
then went to Hai Tien Lo with my doggie.
check out the pix lah.
then Dr Lai called me at 1pm to call me for a sudden meeting.
to meet her at East Coast Park Mac Cafe at 2.30pm for briefing!
thank God Doggie was driving today. huggies!
met up with the other research assistants working on this project.
least now i have an idea of what they're doing and what's the scope of the project.
coincedentally, we're all Catholics. hahah. it was fun and enriching talking to them and knowing what they have done for this project. i am really excited, really hope to be aboard their ship!
there's so much i can learn! i want to learn!
the thing with social research is this. you have to enjoy your work. enjoy what you are doing.
then you can endure through the whole gruelling research journey. without the interest, you can't sustain through the commitments and await your rewards. same for studies, and alwiz take a break, indulge in hobbies along the way. you never know what new perspectives may hit you.
after that... waited for one whole hour before Doggie picked me up.
finally got to see Ryan Tan the Mad Army man in real life!
he's tall, dark, well built and smart! only 24 years old and finished Masters already!
got a career path laid out in military service... perfect! throw in a cute face altogether!
i'll try to catch a photo with him so keep checkin out!
did i mention that Josh and i cannot talk about religion?
despite both of us belong to the big umbrella of Christianity.
our interpretation is different. we're also equally defensive.
my advice? marry someone from your own denomination.
makes marriage easier to work out, and helps build a closer relationship.
in God we trust. (irony)
Pan Pacific lounge.
newly renovated Pan Pacific Hotel. oh so cool! looks hauntingly like... Changi Village Hotel's lobby longue too though... seem like these tall neon tubed partitions are in vogue now.
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Pan Pacific Lobby
up, up and away! Pan Pacific.
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Hai Tien Lo, Pan Pacific Hotel
from the left: veggie dumplings, char shiew buns and har-kaws. wow. the char siew buns are the best i tried! soft bun skin... savoury fillings... great! the har-kaws were not bad, great thin soft dumpling skin too! veggie buns an acquired taste =/ courtesy of Hai Tien Lo. kinda pricey. the panaromic view of Singapore's skyline was obscured by thick grey clouds today. sigh.
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end of days
THE EXAMS ARE FINALLY OVER!!!
today's been a highly enjoyable day.
went for morning coffee at East Coast Park Mac Cafe.
Josh insisted. i can't understand why he is so into Mac Cafe...
they serve lousy coffee!
then we went to Copthorne Orchid, right beside Raffles Town Club.
it's kinda old hotel but they serve fantastic dim dum!
and it's not expensive. about same price as Crystal Jade, but way less customers due to its position. pretty good service. and... they serve great century egg porridge on Sundays! Josh and i had a delicious time munching away and sharing dumb jokes
(read: again). other tables were all having power lunches.
see? that's the thing about working world. when you eat, you can't eat in peace.
why? coz you're focusing on clinching the business deal. sad isn't it?
then we went to Takashimaya. i was dying to shop!
go see my newly acquired prized possessions!
nex: accessories and more accessories to match my new clothes! i won't mind a new tote bag too!
Elias's Uncle's Thai puppy
this puppy is SO ADORABLE right? heh heh. beg me for it!!! it belong's to Elias's uncle in Thailand. look at its big ebony eyes and hash borwn terry-cloth fur! aawwww.... *gush*
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Smokey the Cat
this is Smokey. she's a lovable grey kitty woth soft fur. she's very friendly and endearing. unfortunately since Dec 04, she has been missing from block 93, Bedok North Ave 4's void deck. pls return her to her red fire hydrant box.
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tube tribe
did i say how much i love wearing my chilli red tube top? and yet, with that bullet-proof black medallion from Mummy. perfect. this is at coffee shop further down from Zouk.
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Mac Kopi
Mac Coffee sucks!!! over-priced drain water.
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